Sunday 29 June 2014

Please !

So i made a fb page today ! Please please people if you like what i post, give a like :) :)

https://www.facebook.com/Beautifulfears.mm

Saturday 28 June 2014

Field day at clinic

My mother is a radiologist . I was getting bored at home yesterday so i went to her clinic with her. It was amazing what i saw. She was doing an ultrasound of a lady pregnant with a 5 month child (i think) and it was just.....just unbeliveable. I saw his heartbeat, him move his hand and foot. I saw him shake his head and then he fell asleep !! <3 it was really really absolutely amazing....

Friday 27 June 2014

Sorry

Sooo sorry that i couldn't post for sooooo many days ! I was not in town and had to leave my ipad home !? I'll start posting tmrw again.

Wednesday 18 June 2014

Strangers

This is fictional :p


I express my feelings by writing them,
Shaped into paragraphs, or sonnets...
And Many strangers read them
Some feel connected to the moments.
And i am glad that they are strangers,
For they know my emotions.
And if they knew me they could simply
look beneath my masks ,
And see my heart at its commotion .
I would not be able to hide,
Behind the smiles i know are lies,
They would know what could break me,
And what would make my soul suffice.
And hidden behind my heart protecting bars,
They would be able to see my horrid scars
And even though they are strangers,
They would have over me the ultimate power.

M.M
Xoxo

Guest troubles..

Today my mamu, nani, nanu, mami and cousins came to our house. They visit rarely so its a happy moment. But one thing is bugging me very very much ! They are staying in my room :( ! I mean i know i should not be a baby about this but my room....it is mine. I have painted it drawn things on the walls, written everywhere decorated it and it is full of my private diaries and my quotation diaries and my paintings and my writings and poems and my accessories and soooo many other things i would be very uncomfortable with other people seeing ! It is MY safe Haven !! And now i have to knock before i walk in !!?? So not fair :( :( why can't they stay in bhaiya's room. Ugh ! Anyways i am happy with their visit and i missed them and there is really nothing i can do about it, i can't say no  ! This is really not done !

M.M

The love song of J.Alfred Prufrock !


1. The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats        5
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question….        10
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,        15
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,        20
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window panes;        25
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;        30
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go        35
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—        40
(They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”)
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
(They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”)
Do I dare        45
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,        50
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
  So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—        55
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?        60
  And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)
Is it perfume from a dress        65
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
  And should I then presume?
  And how should I begin?
.      .      .      .      .      .      .      .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets        70
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
.      .      .      .      .      .      .      .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!        75
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?        80
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,        85
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,        90
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—        95
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
  Should say: “That is not what I meant at all;
  That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,        100
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:        105
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
  “That is not it at all,
  That is not what I meant, at all.”
.      .      .      .      .      .      .      .
        110
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,        115
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …        120
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.        125

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown        130
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.



Tuesday 17 June 2014

#confused but determined

So my mom told me to write a poem on the new prime minister of our country "Narender modi" ! I really like him a lot, even love him :) he is doing so much for the nation, but i am not getting any ideas on how tow write the poem or even start it ! Usually it just comes to me ! 

 since this feels like a challenge , i am definitely going to do it :)


#confused_but_determined


M.M
Xoxo

Quote

How do i tell you how i do not care, without showing how much i do....


M.M

Xoxo

Oblivious


A sweet smile
A shy nudge
Happiness palpable
Hands accidentally touch.
Twinkling eyes
Beautiful laugh..
We sit together
And talk without a pause.
I look at him
And i am sure
It is him
For whom i care.
People ask me
"Why love so delirious ?"
I wonder
How could they be so
Oblivious.


M.M

Xoxo

#moving on

Sometimes i feel i might never get over you,
Sometimes i feel these feelings might be forever.
Sometimes the fake smiles start to feel real,
And sometimes a try to smiling the real ones fails.
My nights of no sleep , of crying in vain
Make it seem like i have fate of pain.
I wonder where it will lead
I wonder what i will loose or gain.
Sometimes i feel like, i might never be in love again.



M.M
Xoxo

Saturday 14 June 2014

Thursday 12 June 2014

Wednesday 11 June 2014

Nail art

So i was getting very bored ! I mean i have nothing to do in these holidays. So as usual art comes as my saviour. This time nail art :)

Past

I am very upset today. The memories are gonna kill me someday. I feel nostalgic. And i also checked my drawer which contained things frm the past today. That made me cry ! But i don't know, i was so overwhelmed at that time, i did it without thought.
Anyways i wrote something after that -

Past is what defines you
What shapes you as you are
But what if the very past
That is responsible 
For who you are
Is a tormenting past
That has left a big scar ??
What if you can't run from it,
You can't hide or be brave
What if the scars don't heal
Leaving you broken
Leaving you crave..
Crave who you once used to be
Crave what you had in the past
What if the past 
That defines
Defines you as a 
Wrecked ball.


M.M

Tuesday 10 June 2014

Hate smokers !

So i went to watch the movie holiday with rits today. It was really an amazing movie. I loved it :) but my fun was totally destroyed by some idiots who were smoking behind us. I was almost going to vomit and i still have an headache. I hate smokers. I mean drinkers are okay, when they drink it might effect their health but they do not do any one else any harm,, but due to second hand smoke others also get infected. if they want to smoke they should atleast not to it in a public place like theatre but in private.

Monday 9 June 2014

Irritating brother

My brother is THE MOST irritating person in the whole world. But then , aren't all big brothers. He's been home for one day only and has already made me crazy !

"Home"

So bhaiya came home after soooooooooooo long, home FINALLY feels like home :) i just missed him so much.a nd we play with each other alot and tease each other very much. And he acts as ifhe gets irritated when ever i kiss him on the cheek so that is what i am doing from the past one hour !! I just missed him soo much. But i hope he doesn't start to irritate me now and ruin this brother-sister moment ! -_- 

Sunday 8 June 2014

Dreames ^_^

I had such a nice dream yesterday :) it was very giddy and extremely girly !! So daren kagsoff is my friend and is at my school and he is part of some wicked scheame, and he is kinda bad boy ! So its the every-girl's-wish kinda situation, he falls for me and changes n all and all, i no i m holding off details :p but it was soooo cute, and he was soooo cute, after i woke up i wished that it was true :p. its surely no harm to be a immature girly teen sometimes ^_^ !!

Thursday 5 June 2014

:)

Sorry ! Couldn't post for so many days. Internet was not working ! Will be posting from today onwards again :)

M.M

Monday 2 June 2014

Holi

This is my mom's favourite :)



The colours flew around, people everywhere,
Noise of the drums mighty,
But she seemed to notice only him,
Seemed to analyze the words he just said over the noise of the drums..
Though it was only a whisper.
She searched his eyes as if to ask whether the words said were genuine, 
Searched for the answer,
She smiled, finding her answer in his eyes, finding love..
And there in the midst of all those people playing holi,
She whispered to him over the drums the promise
To spend the rest of her life with him,
She whispered yes..


M.M

The notebook

So i read the notebook again today for like the hunderedth time. It is so amazingly romantic....!! Whenever i read it , it leaves me totally star stuck and wondering where i would find my Noah !! I mean he is sooooo romantic, i don't think people like him actually exist. So he is going to the list of people i want to marry ! :p


Sunday 1 June 2014

I feel so stupid !

Just a few weeks back i made a promise to myself. I won't care for anyone now. Won't trust anyone. Turns out i was pretty stupid for breaking that promise. U no those times, when u talk to someone and feel that instinct that this person seems trustable, well that instinct is wrong,

So for now i am going back to the promise i made to myself


M.M

Rain

Sorry i didnt post anything today ! I had such a hectic day, plus i use internet by wifi and i was not home whole day, so couldn't really post !!
I had a lot of fun today !! I danced in the rain...which reminds me of an amazing quote
"Some people dance in the rain, others just get wet"
Its actually a metaphor, rain has been compared to life, it is one of my fave quotes really !! :)


M.M
Xoxo

Friday 30 May 2014

Life


Wrote this one right now :)

The beauty of life is, that every moment is a different colour, every passing second has life of its own....and every unhappy thing that happens has a happy reason behind it..

M.M
Xoxo

#light


As light falls on her face, he is blinded by how beautiful she is, how the light touches her smile, making her look heavenly, how its makes its way to the creases by her eyes, not from old age, but from smiling all the time, and how the light suddenly seems to enlighten how much  loves her....

By me

M.M
Xoxo

Friend

My very beautiful friend (rits) with her long and amazing hair open !! <3 i missed her so much and had sooo much fun with her at the park :)

M.M

Xoxo

Photography

This is photographed by me....when i went to that lakeside picnic. I saw light seeping from trees and it was looking so beautiful that i had to snap its pic. So i edited it with the thought that came to my mind when i saw it :) ^_^


Hope you like it :)

M.M

Xo 

Nail art

Omg !! See what i made on my nails !! <3



M.M
Xoxo

Thursday 29 May 2014

Friend !

So i am gonna visit my friend today !! After soooooo long.....! I miss her very much :) we'll go to a park and have fun and we'll see one of her friends doing stunt on his bike !! Hopefully i'll click some pictures and upload them !!


M.M
xoxo

#Brother

I want to sound all kinds of mature on this blog, but today i feel really very childish.....i miss my brother very much, he's filling out college applications right now in a different city. I am soo used to seeing him everyday , laughing at his stupid jokes, getting angry when he snatches the remote and absolutely almost hating when he irritates me...but still loving this all. I am just so used to him being in every moment. Him being there whenever i needed i shoulder to cry or a guy to beat ! He is my rock....and i just miss him so much. I am used to being with him ! I wonder what i'll do...


M.M

Fashion designing !

Hujn

#followers 💭

So i just got a message on gmail notifying me that 27 people follow me on feedspot !!

I just wanted to say a very big thanks to all those lovey people ! I hope you liked my blog and posts !!  ðŸ˜ŠðŸ˜‰

M.M

Cards and envelopes

Since envelopes were such a fail, i started to make a card for mumma. Her birthday is on 15th June, she'll so happy ! That thought makes soo happy ! I am glad i failed at envelopes , it is what gave me the idea to make card for her :)

M.M

Boredom and envelopes !

I was pretty bored at home , so called mum and asked her for suggestions about what to do. She suggested that i could make envelopes with beautiful designs. I had made a lot like those before and they had turned out to be pretty, but its been a long time since i made them, and now i am struggling a bit !! This is a disaster !

M.M

Tears


I did not stop the tears anymore...........i felt no more the need to clench my hands to handle the pain.........because pain had become my companion, as in this state of numbness..it was the only thing i felt, in the death of my emotion...it was the only thing that stayed alive.


M.M

Wednesday 28 May 2014

MOTHER

A smile crossed her face....her expressions turning into pride. The tension and emotion of caring as always concrete on her face. Even the simplest thing that i did made her proud..........I wondered what i had done in my previous life to earn a her as my mother.

M.M

#sadness

Tears threatened to spill over...........i wanted to shout & scream.....instead i smiled and said ,"no, something fell into my eyes."

M.M

Christopher poindexter

I love the poems by *christopher poindexter* ! They never cease to touch my heart.....:) <3

Pain and sadness

I cried and cried..
Remembering the pain..
Remembering my efforts
All in vain,
His hard words
Prickled my heart..
Pulled it from seams..
Tore it apart..
I cry and cry
Into a pillow
Try to muffle the noise
While my heart
Moved in a billow
And hug my knees
Hoping to shrink
 For all the word
Seemed like weeping willow..

M.M

#pain and #sadness..

9.4 cgpa

I got 9.4 cgpa in 10th !!! Yay , i am so excited . I expected bad marks :p ! I feel like a big stone has been lifted from my heart !

M.M

Tuesday 27 May 2014

A Beautiful melody..on a beautiful picnic :)

As i sat there, humming a sweet melody of a song i knew very well to the turtles and fishes, i wondered if they could hear me..i wondered if they liked my voice. They seemed to, at least.


I went to a beautiful lake side picnic today with my family. There were a huge number of turtles and fish in that lake and i was enjoying feeding them with many other strangers who, i easily interacted with. Some were feeding the fish in order to get good 'karma' , many were fascinated by the cute mouths of the fish and largeness of the turtles. I was there because animals and fish always made me curious. I always wanted to interact with them, somehow thinking they would understand me....so as the strangers left one by one, i still sat there, feeding wheat balls to the the fish and turtles and singing them melodies :) :)


#peaceful !

M.M

The fault in our stars :)

I am absolutely in LOVE with the book fault in our stars !

Poetry :)

I get inspired by poetry. It touches my heart and renders me speechless...i get facinated by its simplicity and its ability to perfectly explain the imperfection nagging at your heart.... <3

M.M

Confused



Should i let go...or should i not...

What would become of me, if i do

No more fairytale love..

No one else could care enuf..

For once you've you felt the epitome of love,

As have I..

Then a pinch of it would not suffice...



M.M


#confused. Should i let go or not ? 

Sunday 25 May 2014

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
                     -albert einstein
 
 

Beauty in pain

A fear so beautiful,
It captured my heart...
Made me writhe in pain
But a pain, with bliss at its heart....



M.M